Aji Sunte Ho......

Arjun is one of my favourite characters from the Mahabharatha and one trait of his which I really appreciate and have tried to practice is his ability to listen. It is believed that he could shoot his arrows in darkness due to his fantastic listening ability. Wow....wish everyone is able to develop and practice this skill. We certainly can reduce the noise pollution in the country.

There are numerous workshops charging exorbitant fees to develop public speaking skills in people, but sadly there are insufficient such workshops to develop a very important trait LISTENING.

The art of listening is different from hearing.

The problem is most of us listen only to respond, to judge or only to the words spoken. Selective listening is another issue for misunderstanding and poor communication. Conflicts are inevitable when such listening is practiced. One must listen to understand what style of listening the other person has prepared himself for. The following examples will make it clear...

"Will you please listen to this song I have learnt or poem I wish to recite." Appreciative listening is to be practiced in such a situation. 

"My viva/interview was very stressful. I doubt I shall be selected." Empathetic listening where the objective is to listen to understand the feeling and emotion of the person is important.

"Can you help me choose my subjects in my UG programme/my project..." Comprehensive listening must be practiced where brainstorming of ideas is necessary. 

"Can you proof read my story and give feedback on it. I want a different perspective on the end I have written." Critical/ Evaluative listening is necessary here

"I am keen to learn this topic from you. Can you please teach me." Informational listening is the objective in this case.

When a person is expecting appreciative listening but one is listening critically, it disappoints the other person and eventually leads to disconnection. Listening is a means of gaining knowledge, right knowledge that is free from doubts and errors. Some of the best examples and research papers on listening have been written by my favourite Psychologist Carl Rogers. "We think we listen, but rarely do we listen with real understanding  and true empathy. Yet, listening of this very special kind is one of the most potent forces of change that I know" Carl Rogers.

In every job, relationship active listening is very very important and often people just want someone to listen to them and never want advice or sympathy or solutions. People just want someone who listens with love.

Happy listening to silence within you and around you, to nature, to melodious music and to people who want to be soothed by someone listening to them.